Pink is the New Black

A Transformers One-Shot

For the Cybertronians Mini-Mini Contest

     “What in the…what have you done to yourself, Hound?”

    The off-road vehicle flashed its lights at the disturbed green mech and drove a circle around the mech. From the back of their current hideout came a calm chuckle that was largely ignored by the disturbed Autobot watching his comrade circle him. “Ya like it? Thought it would help blend in a li’l more. You know, look more ‘civilian-like.’”

    Crosshairs simply stared while Hound did a few more circuits around him. On the mech’s fourth lap, Crosshairs turned to face the last Autobot that stood leaning against the wall behind them. “Is he serious with this?”

    “’Course I am!”

    Drift shrugged when Crosshairs continued to look to him for a sane answer. “It is what he chose.”

    Hound honked his horn as he began to do donuts in the cramped cavern the three Autobots were currently taking refuge in, and Crosshairs threw his arms up in the air at the mech’s antics. “You two weren’t even supposed to be out driving around like that! The human government gets one bleep from the Energon detectors they got placed around their country, and they’re all over our afts. And you two go out to find more ‘appropriate’ alt-modes? Why the pit did you even turn yourself pink? Of all colors—pink!”

    Hound came to a skidding halt, his bright headlights beaming towards Crosshairs. Anyone outside of Cybertronian culture would have completely missed the meaning behind the position—a “glare” for mechs in their vehicular forms “You sayin’ I look fat, ‘Hairs?”

    “Now, I didn’t—”

    “You totally just did.”

    “I didn’t—”

    “You heard him, didn’t ya Drift?”

    Drift threw up his hands when his comrades turned to stare at him. “I am not a part of this.”

    “I didn’t call ya fat, ya fraggin’ git!”

    “I heard it in your tone!” Hound quickly reversed and headed towards the entrance of the cavern in all his pink glory. Drift snorted at the image of a winking smiley face on the jeep’s tire cover. Hound certainly didn’t miss any details when he scanned a vehicle. “All this antagonism is making me itch. I’m goin’ for a drive, fire a few rounds out back. Maybe you’ll be a little more appreciative by my intuitiveness when I get back.”

    “Oh, come on, Hound!” Crosshairs made a rude gesture when Hound’s brake lights flashed back at him in a pattern. The green mech collapsed onto a convenient outcropping of rocks and snorted. He waved at Drift and reached into his subspace for the small ration of Energon he had stored there. “I said we might need to blend in a li’l more, and he goes and turns himself pink? I’m startin’ to wonder why I chose to stay with you mechs.”

    “Hound’s argument for his choice was very compelling. Pink is apparently a very…disarming color to the humans.”

    “Whatever. He wants back in this cave, he’ll come back lookin’ less of an eyesore.”

    Both mech looked towards the entrance of the cavern when they heard a series of happy honks, and Crosshairs threw his Energon down in a fit of anger. “Now you’re doing it on purpose!”

    “Wha’cha talkin’ ‘bout, slim—pink is the new black.”

    Drift snickered as Bumblebee circled an annoyed Crosshairs in his new, pink Volkswagen Beetle form. This would certainly keep Crosshairs from making snide comments about Hound and Bumblebee’s chosen alt-modes for a while. At least until they got bored again.